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One more IELTS sample essay, now it will be the celebrities’ topic. My previous essay about animal experiments can be found here.
In this article I will focus on paraphrase, grammar range and collocations.
Those who need to improve their writing skills can enroll in a fantastic IELTS online course, developed by experienced IELTS teachers.
Now, here is the task:
Being a celebrity — such as a famous film star or sports personality — brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
And here is the essay, it is the “opinion” type:
Millions of people all over the planet dream to reach fame and imagine what would become of their lives if they were a well-known sportsperson or a movie star. Rather than merely assert that fame is desirable, I would argue that it has certain drawbacks that outstrip its benefits.
Definitely, the life of a star poses numerous advantages. Celebrities enjoy the attention of legions of fans, which boosts the formers’ self-esteem and self-confidence. Seldom do they have to ponder on the issue of self-fulfillment because they constantly achieve it. Furthermore, famous actors or sports people are able to earn much money in a short period of time, thus, devoting their free time to self-development, travelling or charity. For instance, a famous Ukrainian footballer, Andrey Shevchenko, has managed to earn enough money to buy a spacious apartment, to set up a few businesses and to spend considerable sums on charity.
On the downside, famous people suffer from the lack of privacy and the necessity to keep up appearances. They are hounded by paparazzi, and their lives are under a microscope of numerous tabloids. In certain cases, super stars can even lose their temper like Sean Penn, who faced attempted murder charges after attacking an annoying journalist. In addition to restricted private life, famous people need to spend too much time doing make-up and dressing properly. Even if they want to go for a short walk with a dog, they ought to look stylish in case they get photographed unexpectedly. Altogether, in my view, those disadvantages are too serious and outweigh the upsides.
In conclusion, fame brings not only psychological and material benefits, but also restricted private life and conformity to one’s public image. Personally, I believe that freedom is more important than fame.
To write this essay, I have used one very important technique, a paraphrase. For instance, in my introduction, I used the following synonyms:
a famous film star or sports personality – a well-known sportsperson or a movie star
brings more benefits or more problems – drawbacks that outstrip its benefits
Throughout the essay, I used more synonyms:
benefits, advantages, upsides
disadvantages, downsides, drawbacks
celebrities, famous people, well-known sportsperson or a movie star, super stars, famous actors or sports people.
In addition, my essay displays a variety of grammar structures: subordinate clauses (what, who, that, in case), conditional mood, Present Perfect, Passive Voice, negative inversion, participial constructions, modal verbs, not only… but also.
Finally, I tried to use powerful, vivid collocations related to the topic of celebrities:
to reach fame
fame is desirable
enjoy the attention
legions of fans
boosts self-esteem
to earn much money
to spend considerable sums on charity
to suffer from the lack of privacy
to keep up appearances
to be hounded by paparazzi
under a microscope of tabloids
restricted private life
to look stylish
conformity to public image.
